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Kapiti councillor reincarnation of ancient king?
November 2013
By Pullet Surprise News Agency
Guru the Great a reincarnation?

Kapiti psychic Clare Voyant has informed Pullet Surprise that, due to 'unfinished karmic business', Kapiti Councillor Krishnan Gurunathan (Guru) is in fact a reincarnation of an early 11th Century king of England.
Cnut the Great, more commonly known as Canute, was a king of England, Denmark, Norway, and parts of Sweden, together often referred to as the North Sea Empire.
He was so admired that people would say that, with his power, he could command the tide not to come in. As he was, like Guru, a devout Christian he decided to demonstrate that, in his own words, "the power of kings is vain and trivial, and that none is worthy of the name of king but He whose command the heaven, earth and sea obey by eternal laws". To demonstrate this he had his throne carried to the edge of the sea and commanded the tide not to come in. The rest is history, as they say, and the tide kept approaching until it lapped at Canute's feet.
However, Canute's position appears to be at odds with Guru's, who appears to have faith that predicted sea level rise due to climate change can be halted by removing sea level hazard lines from LIM documents. Asked to explain, Guru stated 'Do not underestimate the power of legal fiat. Whether the sea stops rising or we simply delay the need to respond to the challenge by another 20 years, the effect is the same for us politicians; the problem just goes away. Simple. And we don't get our arses sued by 1800 angry homeowners.'
We were puzzled by Ms Voyant's claim that Guru was Canute's reincarnation as their respective positions appear quite different. We asked her about this.
'I put it down to unfinished karmic business,' she responded. 'Evidently Canute's sprit will have travelled down over the centuries in different entities. In this period between then and now sea levels have been relatively stable. However for whatever reason, man-made or otherwise, recent decades are witnessing an alarming acceleration in sea level rise linked to global climate change. This presents a new challenge to the Canute spirit embodied in Guru, albeit at a subconscious level, and the notion of stemming the tide has evoked a different response from that of Canute, who reigned in a period of benign climate stability, known as the Medieval Warm Period.'
By this stage, and quite puzzled, we asked Ms Voyant how she knew Guru was the reincarnation of Canute. 'Oh, it came to me in a dream,' she replied. 'I saw Canute, on his throne, commanding the tide not to come in. He rose from his throne and drew a line along the sand and called out 'Thusfar and no further!' Suddenly there was a great thunder clap. His crown toppled to the ground and his hair disappeared. His colour darkened, a pair of John Lennon glasses appeared on his face, and he exclaimed 'I, Guru, declare we have no need of such lines. The power of legal fiat alone is sufficient to our purpose.' That's how I know.'

 
Comments
Wozza (added 187 weeks ago)
That's the great thing about Kapiti people! We have creative , funny and enjoyable people who can use their imagination and write something like this!
Elderly spokesperson (added 194 weeks ago)
Silly!
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