Google Earth Snaps Kapiti Drug Deal
By Pullet Surprise News Agency
A Kapiti woman was arrested on Tuesday for supplying cannabis thanks to being caught on camera by Google Earth doing a drug deal in her own backyard.
'We can't believe our luck,' said Kapiti Police spokesperson Sergeant Constable. 'We've been trying to catch this blighter for ages but she's always managed to evade detection. Anyway a local resident emailed us the other day and suggested we take a look at the suspect's property on Google Earth to confirm what we had always suspected.'
'Thanks to a particularly high resolution camera on one of the satellites, most probably coupled with favourable atmospheric conditions on the day the relevant shot was taken, we were able to expand the frame with very little loss of resolution. It's remarkable! It's almost like someone was hovering over the property in a balloon with a high quality photo-lens camera.
'And, luck of lucks, the suspect was sunbathing, without sunglasses, on her back, smoking a joint, with two large clear plastic bags of what is clearly cannabis by her side. A man, no doubt the buyer, is counting out twenty dollar bills. We couldn't see the buyer's face though because he is crouching down but we are more than satisfied by the results so far.'
Asked how Police were able know the time and date of the picture Sergeant Constable replied 'There are systems in place for that kind of thing – nothing's too much trouble these days when it comes to the war on drugs. Hopefully this incident will show people that there's not much you can get away with anymore thanks to modern surveillance technology.
'Anyway we immediately followed up with a drug search at the property and netted several ounces of high grade cannabis plant stored above the ceiling. We're stoked.'
We asked Justice Minister Colin Crusher if he was concerned this event would upset civil libertarians. 'Look, it's simple,' he replied. 'If you've got nothing to hide you've got nothing to worry about. I'll be following this case closely and hope for a conviction. If not, we can always tweak the Law for future instances.'
The defendant will be appearing in Porirua District Court on Monday.
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